A gracefully thin woman in her white summer dress looked up to me as I spoke gleefully of our dive session. She was seated at the dining area, her eyes hidden behind the curtains of her curls examining us, shifting her gaze from one diver to another. The lady looked sophisticated. She has been quiet since we came then she spoke a word or two to the staff in our silence. She just doesn’t look sophisticated, she also sounded sophisticated. Should I greet her? Just then, I happened to hear that she is rather a female solo traveler who, like us, was also just visiting Puerto Galera. In awe, I told myself, I think I have seen the future me. I need to sit down and talk to her about a lot of things. When we did, I went home with life lessons from a seasoned solo traveler.
Life Lessons I learned from a Female Solo Traveler
A Free Spirit is a Happy Spirit
She does what she wants to do without hurting nor stepping on anyone; careless about people who has a say on everything be it good or bad. As she puts it, “People will always have a say.” Hence, she is a woman who has freed herself from other people’s judgments because what good could it do to her if she would listen? Validation from other people is clearly not her thing. Whatever she does makes her happy and free – that’s what matters. Why won’t you?
Of course, it’s easier said than done. To get to this, you have to either endure or be ruthless about others’ two cents of you.
You’re Not Too Old to Try New Things
“I started wearing bikini when I was 36,” she proudly said. Then, I realized, would any 36-year old woman try to do so? Most would say no. But then again, we’re never too old to try new things. We may have been scared but isn’t it scarier knowing that we never gave ourselves chance to try? Whatever it is, it may turn out good or anything undesirable but either way, we got to experience it. It might be something that you could turn into a passion eventually or something that you’ll have a good laugh about someday. No one knows.
What is it that you really wanted to try but you’re scared to do so? What’s getting in the way of you actually doing it?
Living Outside Conventions is Definitely Okay
This world is bound by a colossal of unwritten conventions: mostly contradicting, conservative, restricting. We are often afraid to follow where our curiosity takes us to or live by creativity that exists outside these conventions because doing so means making ourselves a subject for criticism, for going against or outside the convention. Well, an invincible soul who has freed itself from all the judgments thus accepts criticism whole-heartedly could live by.
You can wear this and that and people would laugh. What matters is, you’re happy.
Other People’s Experiences Can Teach You Lessons, too
Our own experiences do teach us lessons but it doesn’t mean that others’ don’t and aren’t enough to do so. If we’ll only allow to, we could actually pick up something significant from the experiences of the people around us. The world teaches. Sometimes, being a silent observer is necessary. You can always go on taking risks but others’ experience presents a lesson to consider apart from your own experience of a phenomenon. Take this: you won’t walk into the same street where a lot of people has been robbed. You may not need to go down the same road when you know how you’ll end up. Better, you can still take that path and see what went wrong from the ones who previously failed. Either way, you learn from their experiences.
A Woman Always has a Choice of Who She Becomes
Ma’am Ruth spoke, “women should not be obliged to aspire of becoming a mother or a wife someday. She has a choice, always; and the world should not despise nor mock her for not being married.” Our history books told us that girls in the old times, shall be taught with chores, that they cannot study, that their true essence is to become a mother; hence, bear a child or become a house wife eventually. Even the toys would tell us so. Cooking set and doll houses, still, teach the girls on how to do the chores.
There’s nothing wrong about being a wife nor a mother. If a woman chooses to become one, then, that’s a path that she’ll take. But, it’s not the only option. She can be a single career woman, a female solo traveler, anyone that she aspires to be. A woman is amazing in any way. She can choose to be both a mother and a career woman; or an unmarried jetsetter – and that’s okay.
This seasoned solo female traveler and I have gone far and wide with our conversation. We talked about politics, religion, conventions, profession, traveling and a lot more. There were some that we both agreed, some, we beg to disagree upon; it was healthy, though. Indeed, those were nights full of wall-shattering wisdom. There were loads of takeaways and these were my top favorites.
How about you? When was the last time you talked to someone about the things that really matter and what left mark on you?